ATAullah's thingy

Exams closing in and all I do is sit in front of the system and watch movies of sheer class. Movies like the god father and schindler’s list are incomparable. The other sex says “what is it with godfather and men” and we reply with a love even more than that of the reply saying “we just love it”. Got the opportunity to see halla bol starring ajay devagan and shit man! What a movie, even though I sometimes feel that producers are using the very concept of patriotism and the regeneration of India theme to attract possible customers. But I pity the producers. I feel bad that the movie has not done well. The movie had a theme, an inspiration capable of shaking the country to its roots and pleading and demanding the people to look into themselves and answer ‘ARE WE MAN ENOUGH!’

“Chot lage to jaanwar bhi rota hai…

Insaan WO hai Jo doosro ki chot mehsoos kar sake...”

The movie has had its effect on me. I get down on roads, though reluctantly, when there is a traffic mess and try to make wheel flow smoother. I did that couple of times now. The first time I tried doing it, a feeling of let-it-be-man erupted. I wanted to be the change and cause the change but my body was scared, the mind was scared. what ultimately that I did not get down from my bike and then sped away through very small spaces. Felt like I was hiding my face and to make it worse my thoughts demanded me to go back and be the cause in the matter. I still had my hand speeding the bike. But today, I changed. I got down twice! Oh yeah, Hyderabad’s traffic is getting worse. I am no traffic manager but I do not jus want to curse someone.

Deep down inside me I know I have to admit it ‘I am the traffic jam’

During these times of my absence from here I felt I was going through a transitional phase, a gradation which had to come very early but some things are better when they arrive late because the excitement increases. Like we, in Hyderabad have our own standard time. We say five minutes but we are miles away calculating half an hour or so. Somehow I feel politicians take their training from Hyderabad.

I wanna get into public administration and public services. I wanna follow what my heart wants and for the first time in my life I know what I want and this is what I want and I will have what I want at any cost be it monetary or non monetary . This is my oath to myself to keep reminding me if I bow down to the demands of people I am close to. I know I won’t but I always have a back up.

Sometimes I think what will happen if I want to become a politician? Will I be the one who are running the country right now? Will I be the one who follow the rule of shutting down shops if they feel injustice has been done? Will I be the one who takes and gives bribes? And every time I think that I tell myself a single word ‘NO!’And sometimes I wonder do I really wanna be a politician and pat comes the answer, NO!

I feel I have matured enough to think about issues concerning the state at large and act towards it. I feel the moment is right and I know what I want to do.