ATAullah's thingy

Let me just start with asking do you know what you want?
So many times have I asked myself, what do I really want?

So many times have I tried asking the others by hinting or being blatant enough, but I get just the opposite.

Is this the truth that no body knows what they want?
Do we really not know what we want?
Oh come on, how can someone not know what he wants?

Still, the very question of what do I want spins around in my head.
Its 21 years from the womb and I am still not able to figure out what I really want!!!!!!

Sometimes what I want is very specific
Sometimes it goes to various depths
People, to whom I tell my aspirations, tell me, oh that! Hmm and I know the very second that they think I would not be able to make it. They know it cause I make such mind blowing plans , blue prints keep folding in my head and then when its actually the time to put them to work , I back off telling myself , lite le baap !

Seeing people fascinated me and still does so.
Seeing stills and movements will always be a part of it.
Sometimes all I really want to do is sit at a place and think, imagine, paint my thoughts in the mind. And to think of it, all I really want to do is think!

If you give me a 100000 today and you want me to do anything I like, I would assign a Personal Manager first, my thoughts would be put on a paper and then I would ask him to carry those thoughts into reality. Yes, I like the comfortable sack I sit on.

But at the end of the day all I get is responsibilities, and I am sick of all of it. I wanna be myself, be alone and think. Thinking and writing and reading and listening to music are the only few things I have a passion about.

When someone asks, what are your passions I will surely tell one day that I love to think.
I know thinking is just a process, a human process like breathing but lately, “thinking” is what I do all the time.
I wake up and think about how my day is gonna be.
I brush and think about yesterday while staring at the mirror.
And when I notice I am thinking too much, I think time is up.
I need to rush, and then I think about what my room has become of.
I go by the roads I think about the people, I am marveled by the acts, sometimes optimism for Hyderabad’s development springs up.
Sometimes thinking about the children playing on the streets cuts the thoughts, and then I venture into my school and think about how I royally screwed up my school life.

I think about what I am gonna do and then there comes a thought which bears the question of what am I gonna do after this.And then I think of the uncertainties of the word ‘future’ and then I think of what I should write in my blog

Thinking has also lately been a very integral part of my life.
When I think too much and in the process stop talking to my friends, I get a kick on my ass
It kinda helps because then I think about the itch on my ass.