ATAullah's thingy

I’ve been writing about stuff happening to me and stuff not happening to me . Stuff I dislike and stuff I like. I have been seeking satisfaction, comments and stuff from my posts. I have been wanting to act philosopher, funny, lover, responsible. I have been wanting and I'm wanted to do lots of stuff for my blog too . Things ain't happening. The things I have to do don’t excite me and the things I want to do don’t excite me either. I have been seeing , comparing and observing people. They don’t excite me either.

All that excites me is a steady long ride at nights with no traffic on the roads of Hyderabad. Music excites me along with issues concerning the my friends, my society and the world at large. Talking about politics excites me . Talking about how Hyderabad would develop excites me.

Being all alone excites me. At the same time being with friends and sipping coffee excites me. News excites me and so does fashion shows. Contradicting the very thoughts of my dad and talking to myself about it excites me. Hugging my mom when I disappoint her and then kicking my bro’s ass excites me. Teasing people I don’t know excites me and then thinking of what all excites me, excites me.

I have been through hell and back in heaven again. My life was shattered into pieces and then someone sticks it with cello tapes not bothering to even cut the ends with scissors. I have been sticking to places and people , the effects wearing off slowly. And then time glued the pieces together. Now the pieces won’t come off even when one prays for a miracle.

No one would really understand what I have written out here even if one tried to .I do not really want them to either. But I have been through shit in school. Lessons I have learnt then and the scars it gave me were very grave. Things changed when I joined a new school, My +2, , my renaissance, I felt like a phoenix from the ashes. Things were so good in college. Now I am on the verge of ending college , things still move so swiftly .

But the cycle of life would not leave a person till death .the phoenix wants to die now. It feels on the verge of loosing it. I do not know what I am doing. Nothing excites me now. Nothing of the above. All I would like to do is sleep while I whine and whine when I sleep. All that excites me is this and all that excites me is that. I chose not to mention it. Now ,I chose not to talk about it. I wish I would die. I wish I would be listening when I die.

This is the best romantic song i have ever heard . i am not exaggerating when say i listened to it continuously for a day . the lyrics are just awe man ! Could even get my ear of it . lots of memories come alive when i listen to this . hope it does the same to you too . enjoy and sigh !
i present to you 'hey there delilah' by 'plain white t's'
Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

I was in the exam hall staring at white walls thinking about what I was gonna do when I age and the limit of children I am gonna reproduce and thinking of the acts I am gonna do when I am gonna go to Delhi , then it hit me that somebody is calling me , ‘Ata !’ ‘Ata!’ look at what I drew! Look at what I drew! I had no other option but to say it was good, I did not want to hurt him.If he had even competed with a small kid , the smaller one would beat him clean . The glee and passion in is eyes to draw would all go down the drain when it gets on paper. I pity him.

Oh! Wondering why the hell is someone thinking about population control and family planning? Wondering why the hell is someone asking how well his drawing looks like ? Why the hell is someone throwing paper balls with the help of a primitive guller (a small stick in Y shape with rubber tied all around it and loosened enough to fit something in it and then hit with the object put inside)? And the bigger question is why the hell is anybody doing everything except write in an exam hall??? Didn’t I tell you earlier? Oh! Welcome to St.Mary’s college of science and management.

The drug of copying has played with me since the beginning. It did stuff with me forcing me to hide my phone under my sleeves and look into Google for the answers and writing , which I did not like a bit. Everybody in the hall was having a ball and I had been stricken with the copying bug n I had been filling sheets after sheets.

Now that I have copied and copied, I feel ashamed of myself, tempting me to even play a pretend literal dumb game. I did not feel like talking to anyone for the whole day, just been to myself, eating and listening to alternative rock was the thing of the day and sleeping topped the list. My examination life is ruined because of the drug and now it says, “Hah! Look what I did to you, better luck next time and TRUST ME (translate it in polish for better understanding)”

P.S- if u still cannot figure out what the drug said in polish , then get a taste of the equation below

trust me = fuck you

Were u ever satisfied after you’ve written your exams?

Did you ever turn insane just before the exam?

Did u ever happen to be awake the whole night just to study for a subject for a bloody mid term exam?

Did u ever write any exam without copying!

I happened to feel, do and be every bit of the above. It was like the paper was drawn in my memory all through. I tackled the paper with so much ease. Never ever thought the images which I kept clicking from my phone of the possible answers from every angle possible would be useless. I was happy man! I was happy after leaving the exam hall. It was like when a woman has sex and the smile just cannot fade away form her face. Wait! I ain't comparing myself to women neither am I comparing sex to an exam but hell yeah! the latter is true .

I used to be a master of copying. People would look in awe, “how the hell does he do that“, and that would be their reaction. There was not a single test or an exam where I would not forget to get answers on paper photocopied into small sheets. I even got inspired by history, I used to write answers and roll them into a scroll and then my fingers played their part.

And then just before today’s exam technology blessed me and more importantly Google , with a flash I would take out my phone and type in whatever I wanted to answer and lo , It would be there for me . I would actually keep all these scrolls which I used to make everyplace possible. I was also the supplier of answers in the exam hall. Guess where I earned my respect?!

People ask me why? Why, do I have to copy for a mid term exam? Its just a mid term exam baap , thand le , they tell. But it had become a drug for me, I got addicted to it. I had to pay something to lose it. Yes, I paid. I paid for the whole night , I paid my sleep , I paid for my missed calls , I paid for my missed messages , I paid for the movie I missed too ! I even had to make up for not coming for the movie. I had to treat everyone at mocha. You eventually have to pay for everything you do and do not do. Life’s good J

Since the past three days I have been up at 4 in the morning,
Since the past three days I have seen changes within me ,
Since the past three days every single situation forces me to learn a lesson n change myself . I have been changing and so has my blog :)
I do not know why i get up at that hour . Not that i really really wanted to get up but i had absolutely no choice . I did not plan it either . I just woke up ! woke up to my instincts . it was as if they were shouting , ' get up asshole ' i obeyed them , i woudnt want to fight my instincts , they gave me life all through these 20 years. they are the best i hfave . they are more like best friends . you know the ones who just cant fail you anytime and you can rely on it any given time . but my instinct friend is an ass though he is unique , has mood swings and blah blah blah and when he turns an ass i resort to knowledge and intelligence , that includes setting up an alarm .
I actually cannot reckon what my instinct wants me to do when it wakes me early in the morning , i can only guess though. Does it want me to study ? that ain't happening cause i am on the PC all teh time . Does it want me to think ? that aint happening either cause hard rock and metal do not allow me to think while hearing or Does it want me to pray ? that aint happenign either , so much so that i want to . but aint happening .
But whatever it 'is' and 'was' my instinct is always right and knows the best for me aah !!! wait wait ! I know why it wants me to get up , It wants me to pee ;)

Moments ago , on my bike while the wind caressing my messy short hair , i saw a very stunningly sad sight . It was more like a reflection of how ignorant we really are . A woman partially covered in a torn cloth just enough to leave a breast exposed in the busy street of husaini alam , the chilly night playing its part . The problem was not the cold but the cold hearts . None on the entire street had the courage and the sense of responsibility to give the woman a piece of cloth to cover less than a meter of flesh ! Not even me . But i can bet on t that everybody had his own ways of trying to help the woman but no one could actually get off the social mask from them . No one would want to get involved. Everyone is happy with teh way things are .
Things started moving around rapidly in my head , i wanted to help teh woman , cover her , take her to some place where she could be safe and healthy . i couldnt ! i just couldnt . i knew if i wnted to , i could mke just 2 calls and pay less than 100 rupees and take teh woman to a safe place but no , i couldnt ! i could have also got blanket from home and covered her with it . but no i couldnt !
There is a larger picture to this , the reason why nothign really is happenign and developing is because me , you , us do not take teh pains in dealing with somehting which does not matter to us or which does not give us anything in return .

Two modest alphabets .

Placed side by side however , they form a word potent enough to turn a seething mass of people into a nation .

DO

The last time we decided to turn froma land of philosophers into a nation of do-ers ? Or are we goign to keep thinking about what we should be doing instead of doing something about what we're thinking ?

Are we going to continue talking about our infrastructure and our potholes and our property prices and our healthcare ? Or are we goign to use that telephone , that shovel , that PIL , that ballot paper and so something to make it happen ?

The truth is this .

Thinking can only happen from an armchair but doing must happen on your feet . Thinking may be a great way to get things started but doing is the only wat to get things done .

And lets face it , you're never really caught up in teh traffic jam . You are the traffic jam .

So , lets stop basking in our glorious past or day dreaming about our magnificient future . Let's do something about dominating today .

And domination starts with the word Do .

New expressways . DND flyways . 8 lane roads . Picturesque highways . If roads are the lifelines of a modern state , then ours is alive and kicking . or is it ? Why do you swear when you pass through a puddle ? why is your face perptually creased while drivifn ? why does your new car look ages old in months ? why are traffic jams so routine ?the fact is that infrastructure develop,ent in the country has been sporadic and selective . Crumbling bridges are a common sight . Traffic on national highways (NH) has been growing rapidly , but the government hasn't been able to provide funds to match . Inadequate Highways have meant economic losses . True , credible efforts ave been made to improve the situation . Measures like allowing 100 percent foreign equity in construction and maintenance of roads and streamling the award of tenders will make a differnce . but these are just drops in the ocean .

Today , India is having a dream run and a booming economy . It shoudn't stumble on a feww potholes on the road .

Commonwealth Games in 2010 . Bids for Asian games in 2014 , Olymics in 2016 , India is taking bold steps to fashion itself as a sports hub . And why not ? We are passionate about sports .

Its great to be a sports star here . Small town boys can become national heroes overnight . Endorsements come in a flurry . You might even have a temple dedicated to you . But then why can you count the sports stars India has poduced on your fingertips ?

The Doha Asian Games had even Kazakhstan faring better than us , leave alone china . In global sports , we generally make news for allt he wrong reasons doping , failing gender tests and the like . Indian sports has just a meager Rs.292 crore for its development , while China allocates about Rs.4500 crore to sports . Out of 77 crore youngsters , 72 crores have no access to sports facilities . it gets even worse in rural areas .

Today , India is doing exceptionally well on many fronts , but not in sports , we need a sports renaissance , the sooner the better . For all the aspiring athelets and for the country .

The world's spotlights are focused on India . Our achievers are being appointed to the helm of the world's leading multinationals , and our companies getting ready to take over global players many times their size

The world's attention certainly feels good. But we know in our hearts that we still have a long long way to go . Rather than bask in the spoitlights , we need to get into action mode . the unique set of positive factors we enjoy today ( 8 % plus growth for four successive years , booming stock markets , political stability) will not last forever . We need to use this godsend opportunity to push through the next tier of reforms , to overhaul our mindsets and to undertake the more difficult legislations and poilcy enactmetns taht still remain .

We need to seize the moment !